Lauren Dummit-Schock 4/7/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 4/7/25

The Science of Reconnection: Using Somatic Therapy to Heal After Relationship Trauma

The Science of Reconnection: Using Somatic Therapy to Heal After Relationship Trauma

Discover how somatic therapy helps couples repair after betrayal, conflict, or emotional disconnection by healing the nervous system. Learn how body-based, trauma-informed approaches restore safety, trust, and intimacy in relationships.

Somatic Therapy in Couples Work: A Body-Based Path to Reconnection

Have you ever tried to fix a conflict with your partner through calm words—only to feel stuck in the same cycle of disconnection, tension, or shutdown?

It’s a common and deeply painful experience: after an emotional rupture—whether it’s betrayal, chronic conflict, or emotional withdrawal—many couples struggle to feel safe with one another again. They may say all the right things, but the feeling of closeness never quite returns.

That’s because healing isn’t just cognitive—it’s somatic.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in helping couples heal through the lens of trauma-informed, body-based therapy. Using approaches grounded in neuroscience and somatic psychology, we help couples move beyond communication scripts and into the deeper work of nervous system repair, embodied safety, and relational trust.

💔 What Happens in the Body During a Relationship Rupture?

When a rupture happens—whether it’s a fight, betrayal, or repeated disconnection—your nervous system perceives danger. You may:

– Go into fight mode (arguing, blaming, controlling)
– Shut down into freeze (going numb, stonewalling)
– Move into flight (emotionally or physically distancing)
– Fawn to avoid conflict (self-abandonment, appeasing)

These responses aren’t character flaws—they’re biological survival strategies. According to the polyvagal theory, our nervous systems are constantly scanning for cues of safety or threat (Porges, 2011). When emotional safety breaks down in a relationship, the body responds to protect itself—even if that protection looks like defensiveness, withdrawal, or numbness.

This is why rational conversation often fails after conflict. The couple may try to “talk it through,” but one or both partners are stuck in a protective response—unable to truly listen, feel, or connect.

🌿 Why Somatic Therapy Helps Where Words Fall Short

Somatic therapy brings the body into the healing process. Rather than relying solely on conversation, it supports couples in:

– Noticing nervous system patterns that show up in conflict
– Regulating emotional intensity through breath, movement, and sensation
– Creating new embodied experiences of connection and repair
– Building co-regulation skills to calm and soothe each other in real time

In couples therapy, we often begin by helping each partner learn their own nervous system patterns—when they get activated, how it feels in the body, and what helps them return to a sense of safety.

From there, we guide the couple through mindful, body-aware repair practices that allow them to reconnect through shared presence rather than pressure or performance.

🔄 What Somatic Couples Therapy Might Look Like

In a somatic session, we might:

– Invite a partner to notice where they feel tension when recalling a recent conflict
– Practice grounding and orienting to settle the body before dialogue
– Use gentle touch or eye contact (with consent) to explore felt safety
– Support one partner in co-regulating the other through breath and voice
– Guide partners to identify somatic boundaries and express them safely

These practices help rewire not just beliefs but also the felt sense of the relationship. Instead of replaying old emotional patterns, couples build new neural circuits of safety, trust, and responsiveness (Siegel, 2010).

🧠 The Neuroscience of Repair

When safety and connection are present, the body moves into the ventral vagal state—a regulated nervous system mode where empathy, curiosity, and intimacy are possible. From this state:

– Partners can access vulnerability
– Old trauma responses soften
– Emotional repair becomes embodied, not forced
– The brain releases oxytocin (bonding hormone), creating trust and closeness

Somatic therapy isn’t just about calming down—it’s about creating a new experience in the body that contradicts the trauma of disconnection.

💬 Common Questions Couples Ask After a Rupture

– “Can we ever truly trust each other again?”
– “Why do I shut down when we get close?”
– “Why do I feel so anxious—even when things are going well?”
– “How do we reconnect after betrayal?”
– “We’ve done talk therapy—why does nothing change?”

These questions reveal deeper layers of attachment wounds, nervous system dysregulation, and trauma stored in the body. Somatic couples therapy helps answer these questions through experience, not just explanation.

🌱 Hope Is Found in the Body

One of the most powerful realizations in somatic work is this: your body wants to heal.
It doesn’t need to be forced or fixed—it simply needs the right conditions for safety, connection, and attunement.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we support couples in building:

– Emotional attunement through right-brain-to-right-brain presence
– Secure attachment through consistent repair
– Embodied trust by co-regulating in moments of conflict and closeness
– Resilience to navigate future challenges with compassion

Whether you're healing from betrayal, navigating intimacy issues, or struggling with emotional reactivity, somatic therapy offers a path back to each other—through the innate intelligence of the body.

❤️‍🩹 How We Work at Embodied Wellness and Recovery

We offer trauma-informed couples therapy rooted in:

– Somatic Experiencing® and body-based trauma healing
– Attachment-Focused EMDR
– Polyvagal-informed practices
– Relational neuroscience and nervous system education

Serving couples in Los Angeles, Nashville, and virtually, we tailor each session to the unique emotional and physiological needs of each relationship. Our goal is not just to resolve conflict but to help partners feel deeply connected, safe, and whole together.

Your relationship deserves healing that goes deeper than words.
At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we’re here to help you rediscover each other with presence, safety, and compassion.

Repair doesn’t happen through words—it happens through presence. Let us walk with you. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation with our team of top-rated couples therapists, somatic practitioners, EMDR providers, and trauma specialists and begin your journey to reconnection today.

🧠 Schedule a consultation with a somatic couples therapist
🌿 Learn more about our trauma-informed relationship therapy
📍 In-person in Los Angeles & Nashville | Virtual available nationwide

📞 Call us at (310) 651-8458

📱 Text us at (310) 210-7934

📩 Email us at admin@embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

🔗 Visit us at www.embodiedwellnessandrecovery.com

👉 Check us out on Instagram @embodied_wellness_and_recovery

🌍 Explore our offerings at Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/laurendummit

References

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician's Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. W. W. Norton & Company.

Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Lauren Dummit-Schock 4/4/25 Lauren Dummit-Schock 4/4/25

Think EMDR Is Only for Trauma Survivors? Here’s How It Helps with Anxiety, Perfectionism, and More

Think EMDR Is Only for Trauma Survivors? Here’s How It Helps with Anxiety, Perfectionism, and More

Think EMDR is only for PTSD or abuse? Think again. EMDR therapy is a powerful tool for healing attachment wounds, anxiety, perfectionism, body image struggles, and even money blocks. Discover how this neuroscience-backed therapy can transform your emotional health.

Think EMDR Is Only for War or Abuse Survivors? Think Again.

When you hear the word trauma, what comes to mind?
Combat veterans. Abuse survivors. Catastrophic events.

But what if your trauma doesn't look like that?
What if you’re silently suffering from chronic anxiety, perfectionism, a painful breakup, or money shame—and no one has ever called it “trauma”?

You’re not alone—and yes, EMDR therapy can help.

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we specialize in treating both “big T” and “small t” traumas—those everyday emotional injuries that often go unseen but deeply shape your nervous system, beliefs, and relationships.

What Is EMDR—And How Does It Actually Work?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a highly effective, neuroscience-based therapy that helps people process and integrate distressing memories and emotional patterns.

Originally developed to treat PTSD, EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation (like guided eye movements or tapping) to activate both hemispheres of the brain while revisiting unresolved emotional experiences.

This process allows your brain to “digest” unprocessed memories, resolve emotional blocks, and replace negative beliefs with healthier, adaptive ones.

“Small T” Trauma: The Invisible Injuries That Linger

While “big T” trauma refers to life-threatening events, “small t” trauma includes the chronic, cumulative, or subtle experiences that dysregulate your nervous system and shape your sense of safety, self-worth, and identity.

Examples include:

– Repeated criticism or emotional neglect in childhood

– Being shamed for expressing emotions
– Breakups that left you questioning your worth
– Feeling like love had to be earned
– Constant pressure to be perfect or high achieving
– Financial instability or inherited beliefs around money

These experiences don’t need to be extreme to be traumatic. They live in your body, distort your beliefs, and fuel anxiety, shame, and self-sabotage.

The Neuroscience of EMDR and Emotional Healing

Your nervous system remembers.

When something painful happens—especially if you were too young to process it or lacked emotional support—your brain stores that experience in a “frozen” state. Triggers in the present moment can then reactivate the original fear, shame, or powerlessness.

This is why:

– A colleague’s tone can make you feel like a scolded child
– A dating rejection spirals into “I’m not lovable.”
– Looking at your bank account floods you with anxiety and guilt

EMDR targets these emotionally encoded experiences and, through dual attention stimulation, helps your brain complete the healing cycle. It rewires how your nervous system responds and reshapes your core beliefs.

As Siegel (2012) explains, integration—the linking of differentiated parts of the brain—is the foundation of mental health. EMDR facilitates this process.

What EMDR Can Help You Heal—Beyond PTSD

EMDR is a powerful tool for healing non-traditional traumas that still have a profound emotional impact.

✔️ Attachment Wounds

– Heal the internalized belief that “I’m not enough” or “I’m too much.”
– Reprocess early experiences of neglect, abandonment, or inconsistent caregiving
– Learn to feel safe in relationships and trust emotional connection

✔️ Breakups and Relationship Trauma

– Unhook from obsessive thoughts about an ex
– Process betrayal, loss, or relational patterns rooted in childhood
– Shift from shame and blame to clarity and self-compassion

✔️ Chronic Anxiety and Hypervigilance

– Target the root causes of your nervous system’s overdrive
– Address unmet needs for safety, control, and certainty
– Reclaim your calm and clarity

✔️ Body Image and Shame

– Process experiences of body-based bullying or criticism
– Release internalized appearance standards or weight trauma

Learn to relate to your body with compassion instead of punishment

✔️ Perfectionism and Burnout

– Heal the internalized voice that says, “You’re only worthy if you’re achievin.”
– Reprocess experiences of conditional love or high parental expectations
– Begin to rest without guilt and live without constantly proving yourself

✔️ Money Blocks and Financial Shame

– Address inherited beliefs like “money is bad,” “I’ll never have enough,”

– Heal the emotional charge around debt, spending, or financial mistakes
– Build new, empowered neural pathways for abundance and stability

Why Traditional Talk Therapy May Not Be Enough

Talk therapy can provide insight, validation, and coping skills, but when your trauma lives in the non-verbal, emotional brain, words alone often can't reach it.

EMDR bypasses the logical brain and goes straight to the root, allowing you to feel different, not just think differently.

As Parnell (2013) emphasizes, trauma is not simply a memory—it is a lived experience stored in the nervous system, EMDR helps you shift from survival to safety.

You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Heal

If you’ve ever thought:

– “I know it wasn’t abuse, but it still really hurt.”
– “Why can’t I get over this breakup?”

– “Why do I feel so anxious all the time?”
– “I should be grateful, but I still feel empty.”
– “I’m tired of trying to be perfect.”

Tthen EMDR might be the missing piece.

How We Use EMDR at Embodied Wellness & Recovery

At Embodied Wellness and Recovery, we offer trauma-informed, somatic, and attachment-focused EMDR for a wide range of concerns—not just PTSD.

Our clinicians are trained in:

– Attachment-Focused EMDR
– Somatic integration and resourcing
– EMDR for complex trauma, anxiety, and emotional wounds
– Personalized EMDR intensives for accelerated healing

Whether you're processing long-standing patterns or seeking clarity after a recent emotional upheaval, we offer compassionate, neuroscience-backed care tailored to your individual needs.

EMDR is for anyone carrying invisible pain. You don’t need a diagnosis to deserve healing.

✨ Ready to explore how EMDR can help you heal and grow?
🧠 Book a consultation with one of our trauma-informed therapists.
🌱 Learn about our personalized EMDR intensives.
📍 Available in Los Angeles, Nashville, and virtually.

Reach out to schedule your free 20-minute consultation with our team of top-rated EMDR providers or somatic practitioners and begin your path to healing today.